Birds Ate My Face

just-shower-thoughts:

If the Thanos snap from Infinity War killed half of all life in the universe, then everyone’s gut microbiome is going to be a mess in part 2.

novitiate2017:

i love angry women theyre right

(via takealookatyourlife)

mineyoung-churyuu:

hubriscomplex:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

8ddict:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

captainlordauditor:

some iconic dialogue that sounds like its from the great canon of literature but are actually from memes

1. I will face God and walk backwards into Hell
2. “I’ll do whatever you want” “then perish”
   
3. I have been through hell and come out singing

feel free to add more!

• There are no gods here
  
• Do I look like the kind of man who dies
  
• God’s dead and soon we will be too
  
• I thought there were no heroes left in this world 
  

• you kneel before my throne unaware that it was built on lies

• Impudent of you to assume I will meet a mortal end
  
• This is hell’s territory and I am beholden to no gods
  
• Bury me shallow, I’ll be back
  

- take this gift, for the gods surely won’t

• God wishes he were me
• One day, you will be face to face with whatever saw fit to let you exist in the universe, and you will have to justify the space you’ve filled

(via yayadulthood)

piratedllama:

½ of my personality is made of john mulaney stand up

(via styles-shumjr)

jumpingjacktrash:

the-real-seebs:

bpd-anon:

Growing up, I was told from many sources (books, tv, parents, teachers, inspirational quotes) that you should never half ass anything. That in everything you do, you should give your all. Honestly, that’s a recipe for misery and burnout. You need to half ass most things so you have enough ass left to give your whole ass to the things you care about. Or at least I do.

Executive function is absolutely a thing. But there’s a lot of things that are Done Better if you do them carefully, and doing them badly ends up being a spoon drain. The trick is learning to figure out which ones…

also asking yourself occasionally, “does this deserve my whole ass?” because quite often the task deserves about 28% of the left cheek

(via goodlyrottenapple)

sometimes I remember that once, in undergrad, a guy I was working on a group project with (who had, notably, contributed negligibly) told me that the slides I’d made must’ve been plagiarized because “no one talks like that”

…

(a) false
(b) 😂😂

eternallyheartbeating:

curaveni:

🎃🕸🦇🎃🕸🦇🎃🕸🦇🎃

It’s almost spooky season bitchesss.

🎃🕸🦇🎃🕸🦇🎃🕸🦇🎃

it’s August so it’s already Halloween don’t be a pussy

(via goodlyrottenapple)